Did. Not. Finish.
Those are some powerful words, than no one really wants to hear. Days and days of setting the alarm clock to awaken me before the chickens even start to think about stirring. Countless hours of brutal training in the Florida heat and not to mention missing out on many family happenings. All of the blood, sweat and tears just to hear those words: “I’m sorry, but we have to take your timing chip from you.” Nothing can prepare you for this moment. The sadness is deep. The pain is real. My DNF was not the end, but only the beginning.
For months I had my sights set on racing the Ironman Chattanooga 140.6 Triathlon Race, the “Choo.” I decided to dedicate my race to my friend Linda, and had been fundraising for the Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation for TEAM Linda the entire time.
The swim went off without a hitch. The water was crisp, and quite clear. I could not have been more pleased with my swim finish time, and had no real issues to speak of. It truly was a great swim!
The trek through T1 was swift as there were ample volunteers to guide you through the hustle and bustle. I was feeling fabulous and ready to conquer the 116 miles that lied ahead of me. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for what was to come next. My nutrition was on the money during training so how was it that at mile 35, nausea reared its ugly head? After all I had 10 months of training for this epic day. My mantra was simple, just keep peddling and keep moving forward. All those fancy quotes I had memorized went out the window at this point. Nothing I took in, whether it was solid or liquid, was helping. That was truly the longest 116 miles of my life!
Cruising into T2 was a welcome sight. If I could just get off this darn bike, get some chicken broth to sip, I might be okay. Before I move on, I must pause and say how amazing the all of the volunteers were! Making my way through T2 and grabbing my special needs changing bag, I was met by an angel, aka a volunteer. She walked me to the women’s changing tent then ordered me to sit, and proceeded to remove my clothes, shoes, socks, etc., from my bag. She laid everything out in an orderly fashion, and brought me some chicken broth to settle my stomach. She then, literally, undressed me, and re-dressed me, race belt and all, and equipped me for my run. I seriously don’t know if I would have been capable of doing all that in such a quick manner. My clock was ticking so this was a huge help to me. She was my angel that day!
Now it was time to get down to business. 26.2 miles of running through the streets of Chattanooga, down by the river bed, then up though a very mountainous terrain awaited me. With the nausea at an all time high, I was ready with my new mantra. “I can do all things!”
The first loop of the run was difficult as the nausea was here to stay, but running along the riverbed with the sun setting was spectacular. The mountainous hills were no joke for the second half of the run course. Somehow I managed to make it back down the mountain and across the bridge where my family was waiting. I had been digging deep for 13 plus hours. My tank was running low, and the words from an Ironman official that was waiting for me at the gate on the second loop was “You need to go!” So GO I did! I was not giving up. Dry heaving, blisters, nausea, fatigue, you name it, I had it, but I was not giving up!
Little did I know that I was the very last athlete to be allowed to start the second loop. Running alone, with no one else around you, with only your thoughts to keep you company is quite humbling. At this point the volunteer stations were making strides to tear down. I was the last athlete to pass through their stations. No cheering crowds, no fun sites to take in, just me and the slightly lit roadways leading into the darkness. Keeping with my mantra and putting one foot in front of the other, I kept moving forward. My pace was slowing, I could feel it deep within as if I had a slow leak. I managed to make it to mile 22 when the dreaded golf cart was waiting just ahead. Before the Ironman official even said anything I knew what she was going to say.
” I’m sorry, but we have to take your timing chip from you.”
While I never shed any tears, a flood of emotions came over me at that moment.
I took a leap of faith many months back and I dared to dream. What most people only dream about, I set out to accomplish. I never gave up. Not only did I push through pain, sweat, nausea, fatigue, and blisters, but most importantly I pushed past all the mental demons that tell you, you can’t do it. I pushed through all the fears I have ever had. I discovered many things about myself I didn’t know existed. I found out who I really am that day.
I am determined. I am strong. I am resilient. I am a warrior. I never give up. I am not broken. I am a survivor.
I am an OVERCOMER!
My Choo journey may have come to an abrupt end at that moment but I decided to not let this DNF define me. I made it through 140 miles which by all other standards is the true distance of an Ironman race. IM Choo was not only 4 miles longer on the bike but our swim time was cut short by 30 minutes right from the start. I have no reason to hang my head. The valuable lessons I learned that day that speak volumes to my kids is simply this.
Never give up! When you are faced with defeat, how you handle yourself in the midst of adversity is a testimony to everyone around you.
When you fall off a horse, you get right back on! So here’s to next years adventures in racing. I don’t have plans to tame the beast in Chattanooga, but to race Ironman Maryland 2016. I am going to finish what I started.