Life is hard but then you add your kids into the mix of things and it just gets even more complicated. I have three teenage boys, and I am working hard everyday to raise them into kind, tender, loving, God-fearing, passionate, giving men with character, morals and values. Some may say it’s a bit old-fashioned but morals and values matter to me.
As we embark on this journey called “life” I fully expect to experience bumps, and I should clarify that as MANY bumps in the road along the way. This helps us parents to teach our children about life lessons and build character them. When I “signed on” to be a parent, and made that choice not only once, but three times, I knew a little about what I was getting into. What I did not know was how grief would snake its way into this mix.
Let me just tell you, it hurts, A LOT. When someone whom you hold a special place in your heart for, lets you down, it can be devastating. That age-old tale “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is farce. A complete joke. Words do hurt and sometimes the lack of words as well! What is more devastating is watching your child walk that road. I am strong, and I can take whatever you want to throw my way, but when it involves my kids, then it becomes a whole different story. The real hard part of it all is having to explain to my child the life lesson in the given situation, yet I lam not even sure I understand it all myself.
Praise God that time heals wounds, but more importantly, God heals broken hearts. The next stage after shock, bewilderment, and hurt comes grief. How does one grieve the loss of something they cannot explain? I never really knew what mental illness looked like until I walked down this road. While my heart hurts for the one who has the mental struggles, I also hurt for my child who is on the receiving end of their words and actions. This is a hard road to navigate while trying to make sense of it all, when there is no sense, and explain it all to your child.
My hope comes from the Lord. I cling to his word and pray at every turn because I cannot do this alone. He guides my every step, and I lean on him when things just don’t make any sense. Is the grieving process easy because I am solely relying on God? NO. But what I am showing my children is while I don’t have all the answers, I can truly say God does and point them in his direction. I am showing my boys that even in the midst of trials, heartache, and uncertainty we can rise above it all. Prayers work, even when we don’t see it happening before our eyes, and that is what we call FAITH.
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