“I Let Them Win”

When you have labored and worked tirelessly for 19 years to pour into your children’s lives, the day they make a shift and you see a glimpse of the young men they are growing into, it truly stops you in your tracks. You cannot help but stop and reflect. Being a mom means you give of yourself daily, that’s literally 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Your job never sleeps nor takes a day off.

I am a boy mom. I have three teenage boys living in why house, ages 19, 16 and 14. Being a mom is a tough job. There are so many hats we wear on a daily basis, and sometimes, more often than not, we let our kids win. Winning in a boy household means everything. It could be pertaining to a heated monopoly game, football in the backyard, a video game or even a competition over who can eat their food the quickest or burp the loudest! It just never ends. But again, as moms, we almost always “let our kids win” even if we are faking the loss.

Today that “faking a loss” came full circle, and as a mom I could not have been prouder! Let me take a moment to set the stage.

My 16-year-old son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 12. Not long after Luke’s diagnosis, we encouraged him to share his incredible story on how exercise saved his life. Luke has grown up competing in sports since he was 6 years old. The eye for him has always been on the prize, that coveted podium finish with a medal around his neck. Winning a race or placing in the top 5 has always been his goal. Pretty normal for a young boy.

For 4 years, Luke has been sharing his story to area schools across Central Florida, local businesses and community boards. Through sharing his story, he says he’s showing kids and adults that nothing is impossible, even living with a disease like Type 1 Diabetes. When he closes the presentation, he encourages everyone to partake in his Lr Challenge. The challenge is spending 30 minutes each day doing something active. This means shutting off the computers, video games, phones, etc and doing something physical for 30 min whether they are inside at a gym or outside in their backyard.

Today, Luke met with students and faculty at Candlelight Christian Academy where he shared his story. We met some amazing young men and women, even a fellow teen with T1D as well. It was such a joy to see Luke interacting with everyone but what happened next that brought me to tears.

Luke was talking to group of boys, and within moments an arm wrestling challenge ensued. Luke takes pride in all the strength training he puts in and how he has built an incredible base, so all I could think of was these unsuspecting kids have no idea of his ability and strength! With a big smile on Luke’s face, and the first boy getting settled to measure up and arm wrestle. I watched as my son pushed against his opponent hard but only for a fraction of second, before his opponent defeated him. One by one, students walked up to challenge Luke and the arm wrestling match ensued. After every match, each student expressed great satisfaction in beating Luke at a game they were certain they would not succeed in.

When we left I asked Luke the simple question “Why?” He proudly stated “Well mom, I wanted them to feel good about themselves, and when they go home they can tell their parents they beat me in an arm wrestling match.” In other words, he let them win.

I may do a lot of things wrong, but I know I have done something right when I hear my 16-year-old competitive son say “I let them win.”

Grieving Through Life Lessons

via Grieving Through Life Lessons

Grieving Through Life Lessons

Life is hard but then you add your kids into the mix of things and it just gets even more complicated. I have three teenage boys, and I am working hard everyday to raise them into kind, tender, loving, God-fearing, passionate, giving men with character, morals and values. Some may say it’s a bit old-fashioned but morals and values matter to me.

 

As we embark on this journey called “life” I fully expect to experience bumps, and I should clarify that as MANY bumps in the road along the way. This helps us parents to teach our children about life lessons and build character them. When I “signed on” to be a parent, and made that choice not only once, but three times, I knew a little about what I was getting into. What I did not know was how grief would snake its way into this mix.

 

Let me just tell you, it hurts, A LOT. When someone whom you hold a special place in your heart for, lets you down, it can be devastating. That age-old tale “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is farce. A complete joke. Words do hurt and sometimes the lack of words as well! What is more devastating is watching your child walk that road. I am strong, and I can take whatever you want to throw my way, but when it involves my kids, then it becomes a whole different story. The real hard part of it all is having to explain to my child the life lesson in the given situation, yet I lam not even sure I understand it all myself.

 

Praise God that time heals wounds, but more importantly, God heals broken hearts. The next stage after shock, bewilderment, and hurt comes grief. How does one grieve the loss of something they cannot explain? I never really knew what mental illness looked like until I walked down this road. While my heart hurts for the one who has the mental struggles, I also hurt for my child who is on the receiving end of their words and actions. This is a hard road to navigate while trying to make sense of it all, when there is no sense, and explain it all to your child.

 

 

My hope comes from the Lord. I cling to his word and pray at every turn because I cannot do this alone. He guides my every step, and I lean on him when things just don’t make any sense. Is the grieving process easy because I am solely relying on God? NO. But what I am showing my children is while I don’t have all the answers, I can truly say God does and point them in his direction. I am showing my boys that even in the midst of trials, heartache, and uncertainty we can rise above it all. Prayers work, even when we don’t see it happening before our eyes, and that is what we call FAITH.